Tag Archives: spirit guides

The year of the horse

native american 2

Spirit guides seem frequently to adopt the archetype of a Native American, but I’d never communicated with one until a class early in 2014. And he was determined, because I became aware of him standing close behind my classmate as soon as we gathered – well before the task (to deliver a written message for another member) had even been set. The date was 8 February – one week after the start of the Chinese New Year, that year being the Year of the Horse.

A message for a classmate from his gatekeeper – 8 February 2014

Sister, I welcome your invitation – for my brother has many doubts and some fears. Most are unfounded but some are grounded in experience in this and other lifetimes. With my help and the help of my brothers and sisters in spirit who are here to assist, these doubts and fears will be overcome. They will become as dust upon the plains, thrown up by the hooves of horses as we thunder towards our future.

For he will ride with us upon the winds – strong, free, courageous and joyful. He has a warrior’s spirit and a poet’s heart. He feels with his whole being and sometimes this depth of feeling paralyses him. But he will come to know and accept that it is a strength. It gives his words and actions integrity that others value.

In this year of the horse we wish to assist him in leaping upon the unbroken stallion of his fears. We wish him to know that we are there beside him, lending him our will when his own falters, our belief when his own self doubt plays upon him. He is a master of his craft in his inner being, in his soul, and he can be this in actuality.

I will guard the door to spirit so that only those brothers and sisters who believe in his goodness, greatness and wisdom come through to assist.

Oh brother, let the spirit flow freely through you so that you ride with us across the plains of destiny as you once did and can again. I am your brother, your friend and your guardian. Ride with me, hold me close, know my name.





Someone looked up the meaning of my spirit guide Jy’s name (how come I never thought to do that?!) Here’s what the urban dictionary has to say:

Jy – used in Asia. It means “I support you!” or “I hope you do great!”. It is an abbreviation of “Jia You”.

He certainly does support me! Thanks Jy.

The next time he stepped forward, it was to write with me on a big topic – reincarnation – giving spirit’s perspective on the subject.

Reincarnation – Jy, 18 January 2014

This is Jy. As you know well, I am always here, ready to listen and to advise and to aid you, particularly around matters of writing. Why then have I stepped forward tonight? Am I the expert on reincarnation? This is puzzling, no? No – it is simple.

I am here as an interpreter, for there is much written about the subject of reincarnation in your world, is there not? Volumes and volumes of it, all purporting one thing or another, exploring what happens when you die, the choices you make or those made for you. Theories abound on the purpose for a between life time, when the soul may sit and ponder upon its actions in the last life…or alternatively when that soul is judged by beings greater than itself and held to account for its deeds, good or bad, in the last life.

Dependent upon which version you read or believe, upon which holds most sway in your heart and mind, you might consider each new life a reward or a punishment. The truth is, it is neither of these things.

You have free will. Without it, there would be no purpose to incarnating at all. And given that that free will applies at all times – when incarnated and when in spirit – how you choose to use your time between lives is as much your choice as how you choose to spend your time on earth.

Some souls do spend time resting, thinking of and doing nothing, while they recuperate from the stresses or even traumas of their last earthly life. Some throw themselves straight into the fray of reviewing that life, with the counsel of a wise teacher and mentor who can help them articulate what they have learned, what they failed to learn and what they wish to do next. Most opt for another life and the choice of learning further lessons. Some choose eternal rest. But it is always personal choice, taken of free will. Guidance is just that – guidance, not coercion and certainly not instruction.

Thus as each soul comes to an earthly life again, as it takes its first breath, it is in the body and the situation that the soul has agreed it would be. Those who most intimately surround it are part of that same negotiation – they have agreed to be part of the lesson – and in so doing are also learning themselves.

Your souls have contracts with each other that you are compelled to carry out – sometimes to the puzzlement and even frustration of the conscious mind, the human personality. This dichotomy is what gives rise to questions such as “why am I still with him/her?” “Why do I feel the way I do – he/she’s not my type?” “He/she irritates me and yet I love him so much. Why is that?” When your souls draw up the contracts, you are drawn together.

That is the mechanics, the process of reincarnation. But what is its purpose?

Its purpose is to satisfy your hunger, your curiosity. The soul is an eternally curious creature. It seeks to learn always, to grow, to change, to explore all there is to explore, to be all there is to be and thus eventually to arrive at a place where, in the completest of knowledge, it can make the proclamation: ‘here – this is what and who I am!’ That moment is reached by relatively few beings and those who do reach it rapidly realise that the journey is far more enjoyable than the destination. Not that Nirvana is unpleasant – on the contrary it is far too peaceful and serene to be anything other than relentlessly pleasant. But the soul which has had many an adventure while incarnated will often yearn again for the adventure. And then we teach; we guide; we mentor.

Reincarnation is the next chapter, the next adventure, the next experiment. It expands your souls, your consciousness. It enables you to see and to experience the world through your neighbour’s, or friend’s, or enemy’s eyes by becoming, in essence, that other person.

Reincarnation is the step by step, systematic unfolding of the soul’s journey from the bliss of ignorance to the ecstasy of enlightenment.

But do not hurry toward the end of your journey. Firstly, because it is very far away. But secondly, and more importantly, because you miss so much by rushing through life. There is always so much more to see, feel, smell, hear, than you are aware of in any and each moment.

One day, when you review your time on earth in this particular incarnation, you will realise that the joy you felt from the breeze in your hair, the beauty of a drop of dew on a leaf – that these things were as important and enriching as the most tangible of human attainments – the new job, the big win, the pay rise or the night out. Sometimes the memory of a smile will light your days for years and years and the love of laughter may be carried over into the next life. Such is the impression seemingly small incidents make.

So, savour every moment of this incarnation, however strange, or sad or sweet. Savour each moment, savour each encounter with another. Remember.

Reincarnation is a journey for the soul, the mind, the body and the spirit. Each will perceive it quite differently and respond to it differently but the whole will be enriched by the experience. Do not seek to control the process. Only your soul can have that say, between lives.

Trust not the man who claims to have the ‘definitive version’ of the reincarnatory experience – unless he is dead and speaking to you as your guide, from spirit. Anyone still in earthly incarnation can only put forth an opinion on what reincarnation is and does. The only definitive knowledge comes from death itself. And no-one is born into their next life with all their soul memory accessible. Some echoes may remain, to guide and sometimes to puzzle you. Certain elements may be recalled at a later date, perhaps during spiritual work. But essentially each life is lived afresh. Afresh and awash with new possibilities, new adventure.

Sally forth, my friends, on this your finest adventure. For the life you live now, in this moment, is always the finest. There is no better time than right now. When memories of previous lives surface, acknowledge them, examine why they have arisen at this time. They will be there to assist you in your present life in some way. There is no other reason to remember consciously. And having examined and concluded the purpose of the memory, move on. Do not dwell in the past – especially in the past life. For you are here to live the life you have now, to be the best version of the person you are now. Do not dwell in the past and do not hanker too much for the future. Let the adventure unfold as it will.

We all live many lives in many places. But the only one you need to concern yourself overly with is the you you are right now.

From the garden – a message for a friend


My first piece of writing with spirit in 2014 happened in the first few minutes of the new year. I’d elected not to go out, it was peaceful in my flat and it seemed a good time to attempt something about which I felt not a little trepidation. A very dear friend had a question of spirit, the answer to which I was going to attempt to provide by asking one of my friend’s guides to write through me.

I didn’t as yet give sittings outside my mediumship class and though I was used to giving other circle members messages, this felt like a whole new level of intimacy and responsibility. To say nothing of the fact that I was doing this remotely, without said friend being present to help bring in her guide. To add to the challenge, my friend’s question was all about her guides…did it matter that she didn’t know precisely who they were, their names, their histories? And was it the right time to embark, with them, upon the spiritual work she’d set her heart on? Oh heck.

But as I have frequently been told and frequently have to remind myself, working with spirit is all about trust – trusting myself not to get in the way and trusting spirit to get the message right. They did just that and with such love. My friend has kindly given permission for me to share her guide’s response here.

To N – 01 January 2014

Dearest one,

As I write with your friend the fireworks compete with the rain, just as humans forever pit themselves against the forces of nature. And by that I mean of nature in general, and their own natures, too.

It is a part of the human condition, the human experience – and an important, nay essential part at that – for you to rail against that which your instincts say is true, or habit, or just, or easy. You fight – and often you lose and sometimes you win. What you yourself recognise, but many do not, is that you often learn more in the losing than in the winning. Winning most often comes when all the lessons down that particular avenue of losings have been learned. Only then can your soul direct you to the correct choice and somehow the victory does not always bring the thrill you thought it would. It is a short-lived pleasure because, after all, the new challenge, the next curiosity, is far more engaging.

You may wonder what all this has to do with your question, but yes, it is pertinent. You are curious about the nature and identity of your guides, your helpers in spirit. You wonder who exactly we are, what are our names? Have we ever lived on your earth? Who were we and what did we do there? Did you ever know us in a previous life? What should you call us now, how should you envisage us? Your curiosity knows no bounds.

There is nothing wrong with curiosity. But I beg your indulgence for a while longer, my dearest. I beg you to ask yourself, if you were caught in a storm, without food or shelter, and a stranger emerged out of the gloom and offered you a supporting arm, an umbrella, if he led you to a warm shelter and cooked you a meal. If you knew from the start, instinctively, in your heart of hearts, that you could trust him, that he wanted nothing more than to comfort and assist and support you. If you knew that he was there only to supply what you needed to gain control of the situation for yourself and to give you the tools to move on under your own steam before he waved you goodbye and stepped back out into the night… If you knew all that, would the experience be any less meaningful for having never known his name, or what his profession was, or why he seemed so familiar, so safe? Yes, you would be curious, but would the encounter be any the less for that lack of facts?

We are many such ‘strangers’ – familiar for all that you do not know our names. Dear and beloved though you cannot recall how we came to be so. We appear when we are needed, we each have a role to play – specialisms, if you like, that can help you as you evolve in this life, as your wonderful path unfurls beneath your feet.

Call us what you will. Imagine us as you will. Create the story of our previous life or lives together if you wish to, as you will. For as a teacher once told you and as you will hear again and again in your journey with spirit, when you open your mind, please trust the thoughts and sounds and images that come. You know you were called Rafaelo in your life in Malta. How do you know? Because you were open to receive the sound of your name.

As you feel us draw close, single us out. Become accustomed to asking for whichever one of us specialises in what you wish to do at that moment. If you wish to heal, or learn of healing, call upon your healing guide, then meditate with an open mind in that guide’s presence. Ask that they show themselves to you, speak to you. You will hear their name in your mind, you will come to see them if you so wish. Trust the images you get. Trust the feelings and the gnowings, trust the physical sensations – the smells and the sounds and the colours. Develop your own lexicon as your friend spoke of developing hers – lexicons do not only consist of words.

In short, trust is the key to learning the details you so yearn for. The knowledge is all there – it is not hidden, but neither is it essential to the work and the journeying we do together. Do not let its lack become a barrier to the true achievements and harmony and fulfilment. Let the details, unimportant and yet we acknowledge tantalising, emerge naturally as the flower unfurls from the bud. They are but the fragrance, not the flower itself. And from the flower comes the fruit and the fruit provides the true sustenance.

As you relax into the work, into the journeying, the knowledge, the familiar details you yearn for, will come to you. It will be as if you brush the cobwebs away from your face and there, there is his or her beloved face before you! And of course you know their name! And that smile – how could you forget, since the first time you saw it in this place, at that time? Oh the joy of instant recognition! Strangers no more; nor ever were.

As for me, you will find me ever in my garden. At its centre a well – the giver of life. I will tend and prune and weed; my work will be battered by storms and droughts but life will inevitably survive and burst forth. And there will be long lazy summer days, warm October evenings, frozen days where the icicles shine like daggers in the sun and the spiders’ webs are stretched across the path like glass snowflakes. Come to me when growth is slow or seems to refuse to happen. Come to me when you thirst for knowledge of how to take things to the next stage of transformation. Do not always expect an immediate solution, for all seeds take time to germinate, some longer than others. Some need to over winter in frozen ground more than a turn or two before they emerge. Others never grow tall but are small and beautiful. Some need shade to thrive, others stretch and strain for the sun, only happy in its blinding light and warmth. The garden has room for many things, as the garden of life has room for many people. Gardens benefit from variety, from the beneficial interdependence of many species, each beautiful in their diversity. Such is your life and those of others around you.

I am Brother Marcus and you knew me once. You will discover more as we journey together. You often found me in the garden at the abbey. It was my work but also my pleasure. I found God in the soil and the face of a flower as often as I found him in the chapel. Sometimes I wondered if you knew or noticed Him at all but in my heart I was sure that He knew you and that was what mattered. You were a good man and in so many ways that is more important that being a pious one.

In your new journey all your compassion will be called upon and you will not be found lacking. To be a guide but not a leader is a challenge. To provide succour and support but then let the spirit fly free to its own reward…ah, what a calling, what a heavenly burden! Come to me in the garden when the burden seems great, when the sadness of others visits heavily upon you. It is a peaceful place; I am a quiet man. The peace of this place, the warmth of the sun, the coolness of the breeze, the richness of the loamy soil between your fingers, will sustain and comfort you.

To answer your question, the time is right. It is never wrong. Live each moment and each experience as it comes, fully and with pleasure and acceptance. All you wish to know is within your grasp but do not grasp for it. Instead, let it come gently to you, as your mind opens and the knowledge whispers itself to your heart. Like the robin who sits upon the branch, watching me work, until one fine winter’s day, seeing me pause to wipe my brow, and knowing after many months of silent companionship that I am no threat, he hops upon my hoe and sings his heart to me.

We will sing our hearts to you. Listen, listen.

Buenos noches. You are welcome in my garden whenever you wish it.

If the shoe fits

If the shoe fits

One of the many things I’ve learned from working and writing with spirit is that the more familiar you grow with a particular communicator, the more straight talking they grow with you!

Here are two short pieces of writing, using the same list of words as ‘triggers’ (the communicator chooses which one(s) they want to write about). The first piece was done with an unfamiliar communicator. The second was done with Jy – one of my spirit guides whose role has always been to advise me about writing and who, by now, was also beginning to emerge as a very forthright communicator.

(The trigger words given by spirit were Band, Place, Sound, Shoe, Window, Bucket, Ape and Pain.)

Bucket – 15 November 2012

To dip the bucket too deeply into your well makes the task harder.

Take only the water you need to quench your thirst. Share what is left with others who need it. Give a little to Mother Earth to allow the flowers to grow.

Waste not from the well of life – it is always there.

Shoe and Ape – Jy, 18 November 2012

You have a saying – ‘if the shoe fits’.

Many may choose to ape the role of the spiritual man but few fill the role to perfection. The aim is to strive to be real, not perfect. To be the person you would wish to be in your heart. Not to play a role, to ape perfection, to say the words without meaning them or living the actions they dictate.

Many claim to be spiritual, but what does this mean? To each of you it is different. Aim to be true to yourself, to your hopes and dreams, to be kind to others.

The shoe that truly fits does not cause blisters on the conscience.



2012 was a big year for London – where I was now living – and for me.  It was the year I actively came back to spirit (not that they’d ever left me). It was the year I again sought like-minded souls in the here and now. It was the year I began the next stage on my journey and started, once more, to feel the joy that connectedness to life brings; to reconnect with the energy of the work rather than the toil (see post: ‘travels in space and time’).

And because I put myself out there, out there found me.  I found new teachers and friends in the here and now, to work alongside those in spirit. I joined a mediumship development circle and began lessons in inspired and automatic writing. I wanted to understand the mechanics of what I could do, to hone my abilities and, hopefully, to discover a way of using them to help others, as my interaction with spirit had helped me. The journey that had begun spontaneously 12 years before, now continued with wise counsel and friends from both sides of ‘the veil’.

My teachers, I discovered, were highly disciplined. I enjoyed that and I’m damned sure my guides celebrated it! My spirit writing teacher even set homework!  I still attend a writing class once a month, because at times when everyday life gets crazy, I am grateful for the calm voice that reminds me to connect with spirit and complete the tasks I have been given. Invariably the results help me cope with that day to day stuff, too.

Here’s something that came out of an early class in Inspired and Automatic Writing. The teacher asked us to write with a spirit communicator on the subject of ‘stillness’:

Stillness – 1 November 2012

Stillness is not necessarily the same as solitude, not necessarily the same as aloneness. Stillness is that state of being when you have vanquished the business of thought and deed that blocks the heart. Stillness is the quietness of the soul that can often be achieved at times when your body or even your mind is busy, distracted – its autonomous and materialistic concerns focused elsewhere.

Stillness is the moment your soul finds you, in order to speak out; where what most people would call their innermost voice can be heard. Stillness does not measure time, or effort, or choice. It just is. It is to be the essence of yourself, when all everyday cares and worries and anxieties and fears are cast aside and – in that one brief, or long, or somewhere in-between moment – only what matters is given voice.

That voice is always present but too often you drown it out in favour of more easily digestible sounds. Even if those sounds are not positive they are familiar, because your fears are as familiar as your hopes and dreams. But the still small voice of your soul whispers to you of what can be, what will be if you give the actions that match it pause. If you believe in yourself as your soul believes in you. If you give voice to what your ego would call impossible dreams; if you stretch yourself to your full height.

Stillness occurs when you least expect it but it will also come to you when you call. You must learn its triggers and its frequencies. You must learn to sing in harmony with your soul.

Be still but do not be silent. Be still but do not be inactive. Be still but do not look to others to solve your problems, for the solutions are all at hand. Be the still warrior in the silence of complacency. Be the still guardian of your soul’s true purpose. Be the still purveyor of your own blessed future.

Tap into the stillness within even the most hectic of days, for it is always there.

Travels in space and time


By August 2000 a group of us had gathered into what I now know was a development circle. None of us realised that, though – we were just a small group of friends and colleagues, exploring the various ways we seemed to be able to connect to spirit. It was an amazing adventure and we threw ourselves into it headlong. How fortunate that we had wise guides looking after us!

One of the things I discovered I could sometimes do, aside from the writing, was to let spirit speak through me – and they often overshadowed me while I was doing it. The others in the group would see my appearance change, depending on which of our guides was coming through.

Here’s an excerpt from one of those early sessions. One of the other participants had just been talking about experiences he occasionally had in meditation and in dreams, where he seemed to travel through space. He’d also just witnessed, for the first time, my features change, morphing from one appearance to another and then to pure light rather than a face. (I’ve used P1/P2 to protect participants’ privacy. The names mentioned are those of two of my spirit guides.)

 Travels in space and time – excerpt from a group session 24 August 2000

Tybran/Louise: P1 is ready to understand. How you and I – how we all –  appear is transient. We can all travel to many places. Places where we are, where we have been, where we will be. P1 has done this before but only to visit people he has known or known of. But this is unlimited. You need only trust yourselves. Trust that the way you seem to travel is real. People who die do not stay in some twilight world. They move on. The places they move on to are as real as where they were and where you are now. You have to understand there is no now. Everything, everyone you are, you have been, you will ever be, is now. If you let go of the ties to how you think and feel in the now, you can be everywhere, in all the worlds you perceive. You can use the knowledge you have of the past and the future. P1 wonders where he may travel, yet he has travelled there already – a thousand times. He needs only recall the memory, to recall it as a present truth.

P1: What is my purpose?

Tybran/Louise: A very big question. You are a part of a much greater you. You are not aware of them. You need only know that if you follow your heart, you will be as you were meant to be this time. It is not prohibited to be happy. In doing what you heart draws you to do, you can also achieve your purpose, in this life, in this moment. There is no bigger quest than to be true to yourself.

P1: Where (should I travel to) next?

Tybran/Louise: To your heart, to where you dreamed you would be. To where you once believed you dared not go. If you live your lives as they were meant to be lived – not idly, not with constraint, but with joy, with purpose, with self-belief – you can fly; you can spiral upward, until you leave behind what you have thought of as home. Free yourself of these constraints and you will begin to see what we are capable of together. You are not alone. You have never been alone. And now that you know that we are here, you will never be alone again. We are here when you need us.

P1: What advice would you give me about the chastisement my (late) grandmother has given me?

Soledad/Louise: We are not only Tybran. We are Soledad, too. Your grandmother – she is close to you. She means well. She wishes to help you. She is passing through one of the many layers we all pass through. She lingers, wishing to help you, not wishing to embark on another life until she fulfils her purpose to help you. This is fine. It is not hurting her or you. It is transitory. You will move on; she will move on. Listen and talk to her – as much for her as for you. Never forget, those who move beyond the veil need your help as much as you need theirs. Listen to your grandmother. You will both move on when the time comes.

P2: What should the group of us be embarking on?

Soledad/Louise: The group will have energies the individuals do not possess. This power should be used for the greater good. Bring negativity and you create evil.  Bring positivity and you create love. Love is undervalued and underestimated. If you do not believe you have the power, you will always be afraid. Come when you are ready, when you are positive, and the power is yours. We will help and advise you. We will not let you over-extend your abilities, either through ignorance or force of will. We are stronger and wiser than you but only through practice. We are the same but we have travelled further. Listen, believe – we are the same.

Work but do not toil. When you feel there is an energy behind everything you do, everything you dream of, this is work but not toil. Discipline, yes – toil, no. Action must be taken, beliefs must be upheld. Be ready: listen, observe, prepare, know yourself. Then you will be ready. Know that you are not alone, in your world or in ours. None of you is alone.




For many months in 2000 – my first year writing with spirit – all the words seemed personal; support and advice for me that was hugely welcome but of no interest to anyone else. 

Then, on 16 July 2000, Jy – who had emerged as the guide who was principally working with me to assist my writing – wrote this piece with me about the role of spirit guides.

It’s the first piece of my writing with spirit that I felt might apply to us all – so it’s the first piece I want to share here.

From Jy, Sunday 16th July 2000

We are the watermark on your life’s leaf.

No matter how few, or how many words are written upon the page, we are there, visible.  We have always, and will always, be there.  But you must look upon this page, your life, closely and carefully, to see us.  Held at one angle, we are invisible and insignificant.  Held at another, we are plain and deeply engrained – a mark of the quality of the canvas upon which your life’s story is written.

We are the sometimes invisible – but indivisible – symbol of the unity that is all life.  We are one with you, whether you see or feel or touch our presence or no.  Yet, once you have seen us, heard us, known us, how much richer the tapestry?  How much surer the knowledge that, as the page of this life is turned, we will still be there, upon the next page and the next.

We are your soul’s partners, ever present in the never-ending storybook of your existence.

This is not given as pretty words upon a page – to be admired and then forgotten – but rather so that you may hear and see and believe.  Your story still unfolds and may contain many riches.  The story of the pauper, the lonely hermit and the happiest man may all have begun with the same words – but how different their endings.  Perhaps one of them chanced upon the watermark on his page – perhaps he did not.  But every chance to change the story for the better must be taken, must it not?  We are not here to lecture, only to be heard and to help you achieve what you most desire – if only you will let us.